Voice Recovery

 Hello! 

My name is Danielle. This is a powerful thing for me because not only am I using my voice, but I am using my authentic voice and attaching it to my real name. In the past, I have taken on many different stage names, characters, and personality traits. The truth was, I  just did not like myself. I desperately wanted to be someone else, even if it meant pretending for a day or two. One early morning, I woke from a dream that I honestly cannot remember. All I know was that I felt compelled to worship God. Yes, I am a Christian by the way. During my worship, God spoke to my heart and told me that He wanted me to use my voice. I used to whisper to God during worship, whether in public or in private. Sometimes, I would sing out loud when in private but because I was so used to not using my voice, I would dislike the sound of it when I heard it and would revert to whispering. God then reminded me of my father and my brother who both have amazing voices but refuse to share it with the world. My brother hides his singing a lot and my father had many opportunities to join the church choir but refused. My mom on the other hand, I love her but she is not that good at holding a note (that's the nicest way that I can phrase it), yet she sings the loudest out of all of us. She knows that singing is not really her forte but for her, that is not the point. She just values her voice more than everyone else in the family. I made a declaration before God that night and told Him that from that point on, I will use my voice. I have been doing it, especially with singing lately and sometimes without even caring who hears. God also reminded me of a security guard that was at my nursing school who was trying to get me to sing, I honestly cannot remember why, but I told him that I couldn't sing. He then asked me, without even hearing my singing voice, an interesting question; "Who told you couldn't sing," he asked. The faces popped in my head of the people who told me that I couldn't sing but I was not completely honest with him. I told him that I "just knew that I couldn't sing." Now, this does not mean that I will be auditioning for American Idol or The Voice. It just means that I am going to now use my voice unapologetically. I do go through mental blocks and mental warfare still when it comes to using my voice, but I am learning to tune those negative thoughts and discouraging words from other people out. I now notice my voice and mind getting stronger day by day. So I will just end this introductory post asking you, the reader, a variation of the question that my school security guard asked me, who told you that you couldn't use your voice?

Thank you for reading, my sweetheart. God bless you!

Danielle